The Bride – the Groom & a bit of me!!!

Isn’t it an amazing feeling when you see something good happening to someone and realize that somewhere down the line you had done something about it! May be that’s the same feeling what Gary Kirsten had when India lifted the 2011 ICC Cricket World Cup or the same feeling when you see your grandparents feeling very proud to see you get 1^st in an essay competition.

Never been a propagator of marriage myself, but to see these 2 incredible people get together (officially) is something I have been looking forward to since a pretty long time. In life we are often looking for inspiration, searching for people we can emulate or look up-to. One can get inspired by anything as small as an ant trying to reach its destination carrying another injured ant on its back to Rahul Dravid trying to save a test match at Lords against a hostile English bowling attack in the winter of 1998. For me, I didn’t have to search hard to get inspiration – I am blessed with some awesome mind-blowing friends and 2 of them are getting married - at last.

A Preface

A Christian missionary ‘All boys’ school will help you get good grades in grammar but won’t get you what it takes to open your mouth to the opposite sex. In effect, for the first 15 years of my life, girls for me were only sisters, mom or aunties. It was easier for us to discover an alternate earth than to talk to girls. Some of us also went on to write a poem titled ‘Don’t marry’ to continue the tradition of a life with only boys.

So moving on with the herd mentality of tuitions to score more in 11^th, we enrolled with a Co-ed one. Class composition: 15 students - 11 boys and 4 aliens. It took time to confront these aliens who behaved pretty similar to the 11 boys of the class. After a couple of weeks, we (the 3 from the All Boys School) realized these aliens were called ‘girls’. And what led to this mental metamorphosis from alien to Girl was a smart little cute girl called Ms. Vipashyana. Suddenly our ‘all boys world’ seemed to fall apart & we realized there more - much more to think about. There was an instant connect with this girl. She realized our shy behavior (for obvious reasons) and made us feel very comfortable. Time passed by and our friendship grew stronger. Post 12^th, she took up the dreaded line of medicine to become one of the awesome-est doctors I have known – again, making me realize biology/ doctors are not as bad subjects/ people as I imagined them to be.

The Bride

I have known this super person for over 12 years now & there hasn’t been an instance where I have felt she has gone wrong – she has just been perfect. Be it her fantastic behavior with elders, her thorough professionalism as a doctor or her hard-rock support as a super friend. She is the one to make my parents happy by being there each year on their birthday with a cake or helping them when they are in a need for a doctor. A doctor’s life is a demanding one – but here is a person who is mature enough to be a great doctor along with being a superb daughter & a best friend. I have seen her put her guard down, exhausted mentally and physically from a hard day’s work and simultaneously hoping her personal life will give some respite. Seeing how she has overcome her personal and professional hardships has been an inspiration to me. Most of the times, other than hope I didn’t have anything to offer to this champ but the end was always meant to be a happy one. I am lucky to have her as my best friend and she proves girls and boys can be friends for sure….

The Groom

June 1991 – India going through economic liberalization under Dr. Manmohan Singh & in the city of Ahmedabad there were 2 toddlers joining a reputed English medium school. I have often felt the world of cinema has been biased towards showcasing Hero-heroine romance – why can’t there be more films on best buddies – i.e. Bro-mance (in the right spirit, off-course). When you look back at your life, most of the awesome-est things often are unplanned and you don’t even realize what and how did it happen. People have film-stars, world leaders & scientists as a role model but what if that role model is your best buddy sitting right next to you, studying with you, playing with you & growing with you? What do you call a friend who was with you even before you knew that “i” came before “e” in the spelling of “friend”? This bond for life is so special – it takes a hell lot of thinking to put it down on paper.

My oldest memories with Kaushik are of 1992 when we as senior Kinder Garden students were putting lipstick to perform for a class event at the city Town hall. Apparently, back then he was shorter than me hence had to wear a frock (another disadvantage of being in an “all boys” school).

As we grew up, we were always in touch playing Volleyball, basketball or KING in the school or being on phone at home discussing class notes. His earlier landline number was 745998 - I still remember him describing how his house looked like on phone when we were 9.  It was in 5^th std that uncle (his dad) passed away and it was shattering for me as I didn’t understand what would it have felt like to my best friend. He wasn’t there in the class for 3 weeks & I hoped he was getting things back to normal. He returned and never expressed any irrational emotions. Even for a calm and mature human being like him, at such a tender age, his behavior was remarkable. I knew I had got my role model in my best friend then. We become even closer friends when he shifted to a place (his current one) near my house. My parents who often listened about him from me now used to meet him often. You don’t always like parents telling you to be like your high scoring friends but I really didn’t mind this comparison. Along this journey, we also made some seriously awesome friends for life who also share similar bonds and very similar stories but this one is all about mine.

So coming to the “All boys” school, we 2 shared the common belief that this world is better off without girls. He was such an advocate of this philosophy that in 9^th Std he went on to write a poem “Don’t marry” which went on to be published in the school’s yearly magazine and was put up on the school notice board.  Little did he know, what was in store for him in less than 2 years

His influence on my life has been phenomenal - Whether it is getting suggestions on my personal life away from family or playing cricket in his parking. The connection between we 2 is such that people wonder how without even saying a word, we understand what we mean to say and then there is an impromptu laughter. His presence is full of positivity and happiness - Whenever I feel low or a bit sad, I just need to dial his number and need not discuss the problem – our random talks have always been a stress buster and a huge morale booster. I know the age of this friendship will always be my age minus my first 5 years.

The Story (my way)                                                                                                                     

Kaushik & Vipa first met at the 11^th Standard tuition classes but their relationship took off in the coming year. It was the Chemistry tuition class for 12^th where I introduced them to each other. We were always in a group & I never realized something fishy was going around, considering our all boys upbringing. It was after 2 years that the couple decided to tell me and Kaus never had the guts to confront me on this matter so Vipa took up the mantle of divulging this ‘out of the mind’ news. I was baffled and a bit annoyed due to the fact that I was among the last set of friends to know this fact. I was like – no way - this guy – Kaushik - wrote a poem - “Don’t marry” and ends up deciding to marry the first girl he ever talked to, at the age of 17!! To be honest, at times, I felt jealous as Vipa was taking away most of the time I used to spend with Kaus. But I knew I had to live with this fact. Vipa very soon became friends with all our besties & started hanging out together. Till date, to pull her leg, I have always claimed I understand Kaus better than Vipa as she came 12 years later than me in his life

It is incredible how these 17 year olds took their biggest personal decision ever against all odds considering other than that feeling, they had nothing in common. Post our graduation; things weren’t that easy for the couple with Kaushik moving out to Mumbai then to US and UK for work assignments while Vipa engrossed herself into intense studies leading her to become an MD in Radiology. As they grew older, they knew they had to involve their families into this and that wasn’t easy either. There were tense times with the family not approving while the couple was still away from each other. What I realized during these times was their rock solid resolve to make this work.

One incredibly hilarious story in these times was when Kaushik wanted me to buy an engagement ring for Vipa, of her choice without her knowing that it was for her. I ended up telling a false love story of my own to Vipa so that she could select the ring for my imaginary girlfriend. Incidentally, Vipa’s dad also came along as we hopped shops for a day to buy it and as parents don’t appreciate shopping for girlfriends, I had to cook up another story for her dad and tell him the ring was for my mom which actually was for his daughter by my friend who was in the US. Even till this date, he thinks I bought that ring for my mom. Post wedding, I shall finally tell him this story. 6 months later, on a cold wintery evening, Kaushik took the ring from me, knelt down on one knee & officially proposed Vipa outside a highway dhaba in Ahmedabad.

After a lot of perseverance, it was all super celebrations when I received a call from the couple as soon as the family gave the final green signal. It was like all their pain had come to a righteous end.

So then finally the date has arrived and all I can say is if there is 1 wedding to be conducted – this is it; if there are 2 people who are meant to be husband and wife- these are the 2 – Kaushik weds Vipashyana  in “Gujju cum Tamil” style on June 4, 2015. I am lucky to have been a part of their love story and the best part is, I will continue haunting them post the wedding as they shift to my city - Pune.

For me though Veer Zaara and 2 states were entertaining, this story will always remain a blockbuster.

Wishing them the all the super duper best with blessings from gods,  angels, elders and friends!!!